Defying Gravity

As everyone knows, I'm 20 this year. Somehow I do not feel like an adult or look like a 20 years old supposed to look like. I'm used to it. Haha so, I'm here now to pour out all my worries and insanity about the future that I'm about to step in about few weeks, I think? Let me put it in a word. Scary.

The future is exciting and for better or for worse, both will be a lesson in life. I've been thinking a lot of what's going to happen in my future. Yes, we all know it's unpredictable. It's already my habit that I always look one huge step ahead. Plan everything out. Stick with the plan. Ironically, I'm not a plan sticker. I'm a rebellious ass. What the hell am I thinking right? What happened to my Rachel Confidence?

Maybe I have been listening to people too much and stopped listening to myself lately. Letting people in my head is very dangerous. Mom is right. I gotta start listening to myself. It's time to be a big girl now. Putting up all my mature faces on and start making big decisions. It's my future. Roads are put out there for me and I'm the one to decide whether it's going to be a fun road trip or not. Besides, I am finally studying something I'm really passionate about. Writing.

I know that there are talented writers everywhere and I'm just an ordinary small town girl with big dreams. But hey, there's no limits in dreaming of what you really want in life. Who knew I could love writing so much. Life is all about taking risks right? I'm the one who controls my own future. I want to be successful. I want to be known. To be that one thing that I stood on for so long. Unique. Different. Special. A star.

It's never gonna be easy and easy things never lasts. All great achievements comes with great sacrifices. I need to start standing out. Start getting my confidence back and chin the hell up. Strive for what I want. It's okay to be afraid, it's okay to be scared. Even the bravest ones have fears and fears are the ones that made them the bravest. Besides, what's there really to lose? It's gonna be a hell of a road trip to the future!

See you guys in the future :)