Trust

Trust. Something that is quite rare these days. To trust someone is a risk that we have to take. It is built from walls after walls that has been knocked down within a person. It takes time, lots of time. It's not a surprise that the people now are afraid of trusting another person. The fear of being hurt, the fear of wasting time, the fear of being lied to or betrayed. It takes a lot in a person to actually build a trust. The biggest fear of trusting someone is finding out that it's your biggest mistake to do so.

Once you put your trust in someone, you start investing. You start to tell them anything and everything. It's like that person is building a fence for you, to protect you. A place where you can lay all your thoughts to rest, feeling secured knowing that you won't be judged. When it's already built high up, you start to see the true colors of that person. That's when it all falls apart, that's when it all starts to hurt. That is when you learn to not trust anyone anymore.

When there's a trust there, nothing else matters. Nothing that people say can change your perception about that person. Why? Because you believe that you know that person better. It doesn't matter how many times he or she has messed up, trust is trust. You believe in them. You believe that they are different for you. Whatever they do, they will not do it to you because of what? Trust. Even when they did mess up, you forgive. Doesn't matter how many times it happened, you forgive.

You rather look pass their mistakes than to lose them. Then it happens again. He or she did the same shit again. This time, it's much worse. You try to search for forgiveness. You try to be rational, to be reasonable. But no, it just has stop. At that very moment, he or she doesn't matter anymore. The pain, the disappointments, the anger clouds your mind. Nothing that they say or do can ever make you believe them again. Their apologies, their promising words just sounds like noises.

You lose all the affection you have for that someone. You'll just shut them off. Then things became pretty clear that they are just using you. You've wasted your time, your money and the things that you would've done for yourself. Not only they've taken granted of you but they made you feel so small, so worthless. But he or she won't feel a thing. Why? Because they don't take you seriously. Fuck them. Honestly, it's their loss. Biggest one too.

That's what happens when they break your trust. They rip a large piece out of your soul and now you are scared to trust again. They hurt you, they disappoint you and worst of all is that they make you live with the regret of trusting them. But hey, listen to me. Not everyone you meet are like that. Someone will make you believe again, someone will make you feel worth more than anything. It's alright, it's going to be okay somehow.

I'm speaking from personal experience. A very recent one too. We just have to move on and cut the anchor loose. Till then.