The Ugly Truth

Since this is a desperate measure, I am currently using my damn phone in the dark, watery eyes since 3 days ago with 20% battery amount or less and fyi, laptop is with my baboon friend. I have to spill this ugly but the truth about me, you and my past.

Yes call me whatever you want. Yes I hurt you in my last few previous posts. It was all before I truly had feelings for you. We don't know each other long enough to make you understand those few previous posts. You want proof Danial? Go and ask Elaine. Ask her all you want.

She known me for 13 years. Yeah I know its hard for you to digest everything right now. I am sorry. The truth is my past never told me why we stop talking and why he left. He left me hanging. How do you want me to effing move on from that idiot? But then I met you.

I still wasn't sure then cause Im traumatized. Seriously. I said you were temporary cause I have too many people leaving me. I have another blog if you wanna see how emotional and how many people left me. I got scared cause you left and effing ignored me for effing three days. Leaving me crying, dying thinking you left. Ugh 15% battery.

I honestly felt something when you held my hand. Even Elaine says she saw how I looked at you. How genuine it is. Because i really liked you. Im not using you. I know it's my fault for not letting him go. But it's changing. I don't even have time to update my blog and you already judge me.

He is in my school Danial. I see him everyday. I sakit hati tau tak? Then I balik, I remember I have you. I know I only see my pain. I'm sorry. Hate me all you want but you should know I honestly liked you. You are my present and maybe future. You do complete me in a way he can't. You're a dominant, cute and the most shy guy I know. You actually broke this weird connection I have with him. Why I said it now but didn't post it before? CAUSE MY LAPTOP IS WITH MY BABOON FRIEND FOR MORE THAN A WEEK.

Words can't replace the feeling that aches you but I just wanna say I really like you and you should know I ignored everyone when you left me. You conquered my mind. I know my past is a dark side of mine but are you willing to accept my flaws, forgive me and let us heal each other back? Eff. Too cheesy.

Lastly, it all comes back to how you choose to deal with it. I wanna fix it. I know we can work things out and I am sorry. Truly am. I miss you babe. :'( Blurry again. Eff. Till then.