Honestly

You never really know when is the time that you have really moved on. Sometimes, you wonder to yourself and ask "Have I really moved on? Completely?". You can never know the answer. It can be 2 years ago and still feels like it just happened yesterday. For me, moving on is just living your life realizing and accepting that certain person is not meant to be in your life.

Forgetting someone is merely impossible. The impact they had in you is pretty much what makes us hold on to the past and finding it hard to let go. That period of time or a certain memory that will always play in our mind whether we want it or not. See, that's the problem. The biggest impact are the ones that touched our hearts. The things that we felt are the hardest to forget.

I admit that I have done many mistakes during high school and also pre-u. I would've slapped myself real hard for every stupid thing I've ever done. I lost someone who was special to me. After so long, I still miss the rare connection I used to have. We liked almost the same music and talked about the most random things. The coincidences, those were epic. Well, of course. I basically ruined everything. I was an imbecile.

Maybe for the rarest reason, that person could be reading this right now. I would first like to apologize sincerely for everything that I've done. I guess it was all just in my head. I'm not expecting that I would be forgiven by you but if I had the chance to rearrange and make it better, I'm definitely in. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was selfish and immature. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know who I was.

I guessed after all this time and to think of it now, I really do miss you. Maybe it's just one of my days. I've gotta keep moving forward now. No time to look back but you were worth going back to. Just for a while. I'm just really stressed about the coming semester. Don't feel like going back and it's without my car. I still don't think I belong there. Without my car, I can't do anything. I hate counting on people and especially the ones there.

I don't know. I just feel so sad and frustrated. Why can't I be with my friends. Living our dreams together. Feeling unstoppable. Sigh. Till then.