1. Cockroaches
I do not care what people want to say about this but yes, cockroach is by far the one that I fear the most. Call me whatever you want but when there is that living creature crawling anywhere near me, I will scream my lungs out. Scream. I don't care whether it is outside in public or in my room, I will scream and run away like a little girl. As long as that disgusting creature is in my sight, I will flee. Flee people flee! I heard Australia's cockroaches are huge! I can cross that country out of my visit list! It just gets me even though it is way smaller than me. Even it's moving antenna gives me chills. So, NO!
2. Death
I know this seems common but death really do scares me. It didn't really crossed my mind till I lost two relatives in a year. First, it was in February 2013, my great grandmother passed away out of natural cause. She was already 92, I think. I received the news when I was in class. The second death hit me harder which was in June 20th. It was my uncle. He was sick and I met him the day before he passed. I was giving him his meds from the hospital and suddenly the next day I got the news and I saw him there lying on the floor, cold. I was so terrified. Then, Cory Monteith passed. It hit me hard too. I don't know why but it did. There were a lot of crying in 2013. It was since then, any movies, news or talks about death will make me very emotional and a bit traumatized.
3. Anything that moves on my skin
This would be quite weird. Well because I react like a retarded seal flapping itself when I can feel something, anything that moves on my skin. It is one of my biggest fear because when I was like about 8 or 9 years old, I was sleeping at night and I felt something moving on my head. I was too lazy to open my eyes, so I grabbed it and threw it in front of where I was sleeping. I'm pretty sure it crashed on the floor or something. Then, I realized what I grabbed was actually a damn cockroach! Well it is kinda linked to the first fear but since then, anything that moves will scare the hell out of me. Sometimes, even my own hair. Yes, I know. Don't judge me!
4. My mom
Now I know this is also another common fear but yeah you haven't met my mom. My mom is probably the most Asian mom ever. Haha don't get me wrong, I do love her but she is one of my biggest fears. During my school age, I cannot count how many times she canned me, yelled at me and asked me to get out of the house. I've gotta admit, we both were kinda temperamental. However, she is by far the toughest human being ever. Even when I cry right in front of her and indirectly asking for her comfort, she would just ignore me like I wasn't even there. She didn't even look! She just continued watching her TV. She also never trusted me. She always listen to outsiders, gave me a good yell then asked me whether it's true. Like, what's the point mom? Even when I told things by my side of the story, she never believes me. That hurts me the most. So that's why, anything that I do, I have to think of what she is gonna say, what she's gonna react, will she be disappointed and stuffs like that. Even till now, my heart still beats very fast every time she raises her voice at me.
5. The feeling of being watched
Okay this may sound very weird but I always believed that I have a sixth sense going on in me. But I also believe that I'm protected by positive energies such as guardian angels or something like that. Somehow, I always feel like someone is watching over me. I might be thinking too much but it's true. The feeling can be bad and it can be good sometimes. It's also why I never kept my room completely dark. I love the night but I also love the lights. Not the bright sunlight (cause I'm secretly a vampire) but glimpse of lights. Like stars that cover the sky. Mostly I never kept my place completely dark is because I don't feel secure. Okay, I know this is weird so I'll just end it right here.
The last and probably the most terrifying for me is
6. Love
The most cliche of all, love. So far, the love I experienced, happiness is just temporary. I have been in so many relationships, well not that many and so far none of them were the one. Yes, I know I'm still young and have so much time etc etc. Wouldn't it be nice to feel right once in a while? To find the right person at the right time? Love is beautiful and pure. I won't argue. Love also can be scary and terrifying. It's like being up in the sky not knowing when you'll fall down. When you fall it just hurts so bad that you just feel like you're bleeding to death. I'm never proud of what I've done for the sake of love but thanks to all the mistakes, falling in love with someone scares the shit out of me. Why? Because I end up falling the hardest and they don't. You'll never know, it's a beautiful yet a scary adventure. Therefore, being heartless is all I can be for now. But if there is someone that I can bare my heart and soul to and he does the same then why not? I'll face my fear, I'll take the pain if it's worth it. In the end, love is just perfectly imperfect.
Oh gosh, the last one was sappy. So much for not being emotional. Anyways, those are some of the common and uncommon fears that I have in me. I don't see why anyone would want to read this but it's my blog and I'll write whatever I want! Till then humans.
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