I love you. You've always known that and I'll always will because I know it in my gut that you are my soulmate. But this is not right. As much as I wanted us to be together, this is just isn't right. Maybe I should leave and everything will be right again.

All I ever wanted was to be with you, from the second I know that you're the one. The second I know you are my home. I want us. Side by side, against the world. But I can't want that anymore Joel. I thought loving you was enough for me to get through this, but it isn't.

I can't bare this pain. I can only feel so much pain, Joel. I don't want to feel this way anymore. I don't want to feel hurt. I know that we're in this together but not the pain. We don't share the pain. I'm taking all of it because I'm in this alone.

Like I said before, you have her. You'll always have her. It's easier for you to get over me than it is for me because you have her. I'm all alone in this because no one understands this, no one understands us.

You don't have to cut off anything. I have to cut off everything because you are my everything. You are the one I want to settle with but it's never gonna happen and I just need to start accepting that fact. When will I ever accept that fact.

You have such a beautiful soul Joel. You're smart, protective and humble. I guess that's why she deserves you more than I do. But I love you, my soul loves you, my mind, my body. There's only you and that's why it hurts so much.

Maybe it'll all be different. Like how that girl who fell for you and she moved on now. Maybe it'll happen to me too or maybe it won't. I don't know. I can't imagine my life without you but I have to start doing that now.

If only you could try harder, love me more, leave her. That's just too much to ask from you. We just fell for each other at the wrong time. Or we just don't belong together. I can't. I'm just going to stop right here. Till then.